pinning waves upon the sand
8:11 p.m. on 2015-04-02
i am in the center of this life staring outwards at a series of theaters playing the film of all the possibilities all the different places i could be in this moment if i had followed my heart in different directions if the path had been paved with different stones.
spears of light burn through me connecting me to all the people i have loved and have almost loved my current self hinged on the phantoms of the selves i could have been.
the ache in this is not regret so much as unfulfilled curiosity questions that will never be answered crawling over and through me.
i am filled with kinds of love i do not understand, do not have names for though i am desperately trying to catalog and make sense of them.