i feel better knowing that what happened was more a reflection of you than it was of me. that was the closure i needed to let this go. i needed to know it isn't always my fault.
one of the downsides of having control issues is that when you feel the need to control everything, even things that are far out of your control feel like your fault. i have spent the last many months trying to figure out what i did to drive you away and drove myself crazy in the process because i did everything i could to handle the situation in the best way i knew how.
knowing that it had everything to do with the dark place you were in at the time means i have much more empathy for both of us now. i'm not sure what that will mean going forward but i am grateful that you were able to communicate with me regardless.