some stranger might have your phone number now. i wish we could laugh together about how it was the best/worst idea to show your mom how to use facebook. i want to run my hand over your bald head fluff, and rub your back again. my mind runs back to that every time, staying up all night with you to rub your back while you coughed or scratch your skin when the painkillers made it itchy. i wish you were just on vacation somewhere, and that you would be back in time for us to go on a summer road trip. i wish you were here to lay beside, to share stories, to tell each other our secrets. before the end, i told you i was sad you would never get to be uncle to my kids, but now i'm just sad for the right now moments of wishing i could text you and knowing it would go to that strange place text messages go when no one receives them, or worse, it would be read by a stranger. |