what makes a feeling real? i think i will always be trying to distinguish whether or not the feelings i have while on drugs are just because of the drugs or if i am just being forced to deal with feelings i already have when i am no longer sober enough to run away from them.
i miss her, i don't know how i feel about you. all the romantic shit you say seems like a manic pixie dream come true but i am just waiting for the bottom to fall out. you've had all this time with me to yourself, how is it going to be when you have to share me with all of my friends? i am afraid to hope for the best, because that has crushed me before.
and everything reminds me of her. i know better now than to make it into something it isn't, but that doesn't stop the ache.