Being involved with you makes me feel like I've gone completely fucking crazy. Because on the one hand, I find you completely inconsiderate and lacking conversational skills, and sometimes I wonder if you even care about me at all. But on the other hand, you're the one calling me, not the other way around, and when we're together I forget my apprehensions and just think about how awesome it feels when we kiss and how we talk afterwards. I'm being avoidy right now because I haven't yet decided what to do about the problem. I want us to be able to talk about it, but this isn't really a relationship yet and this feels too relationshippy for where we are [which, at the moment, is relatively nowhere]. I want to date you, not just fuck you, but I don't think that's what you want and that's a problem. What I don't understand is why you don't - I know you like me, things wouldn't be going the way they are if you didn't, so that's not it. But if you don't do something about it, you're going to lose me. I'm worth more than this tentative, loosely defined affair.
I just have to wonder if you're assuming certain things about me or about what a relationship with me would be like. That maybe I'm the kind of girl who needs too much time, attention or money. Or maybe you think that about all women, I don't know. I just wish you would know that I'm not like that at all.
Why can't I say any of this to you, instead of writing it all down in anonymity?