why don't i feel comforted by anything you say? you're saying all the right things but i don't believe you at all, i don't believe the words coming out of your mouth and i don't believe that you still love me as much as you say you do. i think it's because i can't trust the way you kiss me, there's no feeling in it, it makes all of my insides shake with doubt because how can you kiss anyone so emptily and still feel anything for them? how can you be so completely distant and still tell me you are in love with me? i don't believe you, your kiss doesn't believe you, your absent hands don't believe you.
i hate this, i hate the way all of this makes me feel, i hate how if there isn't something going wrong with me there's something going wrong with you and nothing is ever peaceful or good and i can never trust it, there is absolutely no foundation to this shaky relationship. i am always, always waiting for the bottom to fall out.