through a pinhole
Yesterday I felt my heart break a little. Just a tear, a miniature shred along the outer walls. I can feel it there still, waiting to widen until my whole heart falls to pieces.
You did the one thing I thought you'd never do. You left. Not once, but twice. You even came back and saw me crying and you still left. Can't you ever just be with me without needing something from me? Without needing me to be happy, or talkative, or less smart, or less clumsy, or less messy, or more responsible, or one of the million things you constantly tease me about and that generally I take with good humor but occasionally actually am hurt by.
You wonder why I doubt sometimes, why I get insecure about it, but sometimes it's hard to remind myself that you love me when you're always so impatient with me and it always seems like you could take or leave me, it doesn't matter whether I'm there or not.
If you can't be with me when I'm happy and also when I'm mad, sad, distant, whatever... I don't know.