solstice and death
i guess lately i'm kind of messy, kind of all over the place and unfocused. i want to say that i'm always like this in the winter because it feels like a reoccurring theme, i suspect that my internal self for any given year dies sometime around winter solstice, leaving me to waffle about in confusion for at least a month trying to figure out who exactly i want to be for the next year, which parts i want to keep and which to discard. it's a terribly exhausting process and subsequently i have come to hate january.
what to discard...
what to keep...
and this year i really need to find a job.