o my heart
i have lost too many people who were too young to die.
one is too many. three is hideous.
i am learning that there is nothing i cannot bear and i am resentful of this, because it feels like there should be a limit.
i am having a hard time being alone right now because i want to hold everyone i know. because our time is so finite, because i have no idea when i may never hold them again.
and i wish so much i had held him longer.