"i wish you would let me cry on your shoulder until i fall asleep, too weak to keep my swollen eyes open. i wish you would grow up. my mind is turning to violent pursuits these days. i peel the skin from my body, being naked and open, vital organs spilling from my torso. i drag razors down my arms, my face, my chest in broad strokes, floating in water turning quickly to blood. i gouge my eyes out with silver spoons, horribly detailed in the way the nerves hang red and bloodied from the sockets afterwards. i cut off my hands and feet, hacking at my wrists and ankles in an uncoordinated fashion. the violence in my mind is frightening. i want you to ruin me." - october 2004
"i keep having that daydream again where the skin on my back is being flayed from my body with a dagger by some unseen hand and blood is running down my back, the skin is being peeled off, i just bleed and bleed, turn red like an organ so i'm my liver or my kidneys and not the collection of me. just something that bleeds." - now
nothing changes. my mind is a bloody and distorted thing.