A tale of two people, one body I think the problem is that I need sex and/or sexual activity about as often as I need pot - once every two months, and only a few hits. Just enough to keep my physical quota up to par. I'm constantly at odds with my body on this; it's always a physical versus mental battle. Like we're too different people. My body would be pretty down with having twenty four hour sex marathons with The Viking involving being tied up with silk scarves and perhaps a little fun with sharp knives. My mind, however, remains objective and can only think about how awkward it feels to be naked and how immoral it is to sleep with someone you aren't really dating. Maybe I'm just a little too pious. In any case, The Viking's beardage gave me a serious friction burn on my chin and it's rather uncomfortable. I read this article in some random art mag [that I can't for the life of me remember the name of] not that long ago that talked about an American artist [CarianaCarianne] who was absolutely convinced that she was really two people - that two completely separate minds with different thoughts, ideas and preferences were inhabiting and sharing her body. They even made completely different kinds of art. I don't know if she's crazy or right, but sometimes I feel the exact same way. Like there are all these foreign thoughts and actions in my mind/life that I don't recognize as coming from myself. Things have been so good lately but this morning was a reminder that I need to take better care of myself. All this not sleeping and too much substance abuse/partying/making out has really taken a toll on my body and subsequently, my mental state. I had a minor flip-out at work today involving a crying jag and hyperventilating; I'm definitely going to lay off the activity for the next week or so. Just get back to steady before I go out and do it all over again. I suppose you could call it the healthier way to self-destruct. |