i need you to know just exactly what i am giving up. i need you to know so that you donít ever take my choice for granted, so that you understand how difficult it is to make.
victoria, for me, is like getting to breathe after a long time spent underwater in a toxic ocean. it is like sitting down in a chair that is your absolute perfect comfort level, letting out a sigh, and knowing that you will never again sit in a chair so perfectly comfortable. i am content here on a level that is soul-deep, a level that goes down to the roots of my being. i am leaving all of that to go back to a place that makes me feel poisoned and suffocated, and once i leave here i can never come back because building a life with you means staying in calgary. leaving here means giving up on an education that could potentially have made me something great whereas in calgary the best future i have to look forward to is a life of mediocrity and wasted talent. and it means giving up raising a child, because i promised myself a long time ago that i would never raise a baby in a city like calgary. iíll make it work in calgary, iím going to do my best to focus on all the things i like about the city, like kensington, my friends, you. just know what it is that iím giving up to be with you.
i love you. i canít be without you. if i have to give up everything to keep us together, then i will.