Would it be the same time in Dublin as it is in London? I should be going to sleep; they're probably just waking up. Self-induced insomnia as punishment for not doing my laundry sooner. I'm the least domestic person in the entire world and admit, with shame, that I would not ever be above hiring a live-in maid if my budget could cover it. I'd make a terrible housewife.
If things had been different... I think that a lot, it probably isn't a healthy thing but there it is. I wonder a lot what my life would be like if certain things had gone just a little bit differently. Or if certain parts of me had been a little bit different. Who would I be now? Would I have met different people, followed a different path? Or would destiny have led me right back to the same place? Does destiny even exist in that context? How much of my life was fate and how much of it did I screw up by making the wrong choices? I won't lie, it boggles my mind.
Sometimes I have dreams about being a dancer; someone petite and slender, with perfect feet and ballerina's arches. Standing in a perfect arabesque, balancoire to the left, pas de chat, pirouette. Elegant. I wake up feeling so light, like floating. If only I had the discipline. There's too much music in my feet.