how dare you
i can't even write about you, i feel like i am suffocating every time i try. i feel like if i write about you, you'll disappear, like writing about someone who makes me feel the way you do is an act of casting a jinx on whatever potential this has.
i am fucking terrified of you.
you can sit across from me and tell me how you put so much effort into saying worthwhile things around me because you notice and appreciate so much how well i listen to and remember everything you say and i am catapulted out of my body can't breathe can only think about how you don't even need to try because i literally cannot STOP listening so well to everything you say because every word out of your mouth is meaningful.
i am waiting for the bottom to fall out of this, i am waiting for you to encounter some part of me you can't handle, or to find out that you think of me as a friend while i am consumed and terrified by the desire to fuse my entire self with yours.
for fuck's sake, stop kissing me like that.