basically a huge fuck up
it's 5:30 am, i'm awake and unable to sleep even though i only went to bed four hours ago.
i'm having so much trouble sleeping lately. there are too many things on my mind, too many things that refuse to be quiet.
i don't have a job, i'm not going back to school until january at the earliest, my best friends have become people i can't trust, i feel so lonely lately, i'm throwing a party on saturday that i bought a gram of molly for with money i don't really have because i've become just that irresponsible, my body is at least ten pounds heavier than what i'm comfortable with right now, it's my best friend's birthday today and i somehow have to pick up another friend from the greyhound station and deliver my best friend's birthday present to her without anything getting damaged on the way, my cat is visibly inches away from death and it's killing me, i haven't heard from jake in over two weeks and i'm always worried about him, i hate my best friend's girlfriend because she's made her into this angry person i don't recognize but i'm civil to her anyway because for some reason faith really loves her, sometimes i feel replaced by her girlfriend and it hurts, i miss my friends in victoria so much all the time.
i just want to be really fucked up all weekend so that i can forget all of this. i'm probably going to make out with everyone i know just to feel a little less lonely, and i'm not really proud of that at all.