the box. I'm not the kind of girl you date casually, not the kind you call up for sex when you're horny late one night. I'm not the girl you fuck in a bar or have a one night stand with. I'm the girl you treat right, the girl you date, take out, make an effort to keep. I grew up traditionally, believing that sex is something you do with the person you love and it should be between the two of you, not a whole bunch of other people. Intimacy is a private thing and best shared exclusively. In my relationships, this is what I need. I'm not saying it's how everyone should function because that's not it at all; everyone has the right to have the love life that suits them the best. I tried to be outside the box and open-minded about it, I've been trying since I knew what it meant to want more than one person. But mentally I can't handle it; I'm not a secure enough person to ever be able to trust the person I'm dating to sleep with someone else and still want me after. I just want to have the option to not question but I don't think I'll ever be able to ask for monogamy because I can't bring myself to hold someone down like that. I guess I'm just waiting for the person who chooses to want me and only me without my having to ask for it. I don't think that's so much to want, really. |