never say never
i have done a lot of really terrible things in my lifetime but somehow i have managed to maintain this facade of innocence, somehow i have convinced even myself that i am essentially a good person.
i'm really not.
i'm consciously aware of the consequences of my actions yet do them anyway. not because i don't care about hurting others, i do care, it is just that my need for experience always outweighs my need to not hurt people. as an adolescent, i said "no" to a lot of things for various reasons and just in general i was a really "no" kind of person. when i got out of high school it hit me how much i had missed out on by saying no all the time.
now i never say no.
somehow that makes all the damage worth it. somehow that makes it easy to deal with the fact that i'm an asshole.