it turned into trouble but not in the way i thought it would; it's funny how everything in my life always ends in drama. actually not funny, that would imply that i have nothing to do with it when really i somehow manage to shake up every single situation i'm in. sometimes on purpose and other times, like this time, completely without intending to. i think people read me so wrong a lot of the time - not that it is their fault, it's just that i give everyone the wrong impression. because i say things, and mean them when i say them, and then ten minutes or a day or a week later they just aren't true anymore, but i don't let people in on my constant changing opinions. so they're left with one impression and not the entire truth. i don't know how to not do this, because i mean everything i say. it's just that most things i don't mean for very long. or i'll only be fervent about them sporadically.
needless to say i don't even know what to expect anymore. not that i really had any expectations to begin with, but you know.