the next step
i still idealize this life with you of childlike innocence and exploration. our relationship is like siblings but stronger than the real familial bonds either of us have had and i just want to go on adventures with you.
i want to blast open what it means to grow up and do it the way that makes more sense to me. forever growing, travelling, meeting new people, recording everything because it means something to us right now, and maybe it will mean something to somebody else later.
maybe for once the grand adventure can be about building incredible friendships instead of the end of the story always being finding the "one". some things never change, i still just want to be forever falling in love with my friends.
the sad reality of this situation is that v. is holding me back. i thought they were the person i could go on this adventure with but every day it becomes more apparent that it would never work.
j. inspires me and makes me want to charge ahead at the world, leave a blazing trail behind us. to set fire to everything and watch it burn, make art from the wreckage. make art like a mirror to reflect back the world we see and challenge the viewer into new perceptions, new emotional responses.
i feel more like my true self when i am with her, a better version of myself. i want to run with that for as long as possible.