get your passport, just in case there are too many different ways to tell this story and that is where i find myself stalled. what angle do i approach this from? all of them have the element of truth, all that changes is the lens. i remember it dirty but hopeful, a sort of bedazzled trailer park of messy growth, sunflowers straggling up through cinderblocks. sometimes i think we are selling ourselves short by going back somewhere that has already been a chapter in my life; why go backward when we can go forward into something that is foreign to both of us? i have tried to convince you of this but you are not on board with california yet. maybe somewhere on the road we will change course. i am not at all sure what will happen next, how we will survive. my horoscope keeps telling me to relax, accept uncertainty, move forward with faith. i am trying, goddamnit. |