there's a reason this is private
look, alright, i knew you once. you traced my scars with your fingertip even though she was watching, you made my hands shake, i felt electric currents run from my chest outwards. in the snow we walked beneath hanging orbs of light; i went to a museum with your mother. i grew up too slow for you. i would have kissed you that day in your kitchen. when i replay the scene in my mind, i alter that part. i remember the light and the way it fell so warmly, i remember being aware of the snow, i remember wanting to fold myself into you. we are trees, my roots have fused to yours, i feel you no matter where you are.
why did you show up on my doorstep the night before i planned to disappear? what keeps you coming back?
i'm no better than she is. i still pretend i can hand out my heart to the highest bidder. even though it belongs to you, i'll throw away what isn't mine. i'll sacrifice someone else's heart in the meantime.
how twisted i've become.