what i feel for you now is something i never wanted to feel, i'm scared of it and honestly panicking a little.
i wanted to keep you in my mind as a baby, just a kid with a bright spirit, not because i was scared of your disillusionment but because i was scared of how the way i thought of you would change. i thought if i could keep you out of my head in that way i'd never want more from you than the friendship we have, and i was right.
i don't want these feelings at all. at all at all.