insane moving moments
i had the most insane day today and because it was so insane i feel the need to uncharacteristically actually write out the whole thing.
i moved into a new place last night that was supposed to be my living situation for the next year at least. i did a lot of house hunting and came to the conclusion that it was probably the best place for me, based on various pro factors in its favour, despite the fact that my gut instinct told me to run far away. i convinced myself that it would be fine, moved all my stuff in, but couldn't bring myself to unpack. something felt wrong the second my friend left me there alone.
the people there were so strange and unwelcoming. the only male on the floor, the boyfriend of one of the girls, had to be potentially one of the creepiest dudes i have ever encountered. he looked normal enough but gave off the most unsettling bad vibes and had a strange, monotonic way of speaking, so that he sounded more like a computer speaking than an actual person. they all smelled terrible, the house smelled terrible, like body odor and unwashed clothing. everything was dirty, a fact that would have sent me running if it had been that dirty when i had initially viewed it. my bedroom door didn't close, never mind have a lock on it. the smell was the most unsettling thing for me though. i have a ridiculously sensitive sense of smell and can usually tell just by smell whether or not i will be comfortable in a place or with a person. this smell was so jarring for me that i couldn't sleep at all. my body shook all night, i had to continuously attempt to unclench my jaw and relax the muscles in my legs.
i kept trying to tell myself to suck it up, that i would get used to the smell and used to the people and it would be fine, but the unsettled feeling got progressively worse. i decided that i had to find another place, it wasn't going to work. one of the places i had viewed earlier in the week had offered me a spot, but wasn't available until the tenth, and was furnished, so i had to somehow store the furniture that a friend had entrusted to me and find somewhere to stay for ten days.
the universe practically dropped the solution in my lap. that and amazing friends. an old friend called me in the morning when i was mid panic-attack to see if i wanted to hang out, because we both recently relocated from our hometowns to here. i explained my situation to her and almost immediately she offered me her couch to stay until the other place was available. problem one solved. another friend has a considerable amount of storage space and was willing to let me store the furniture there, but i had to get it there myself. i don't have a vehicle or a license. thank god for craigslist. hired a guy with a truck within five minutes to move the furniture for an unbelievably small amount.
insert panic attack about having to explain to the people i was living with that i was leaving. i don't handle conflict situations well [unless i'm mediating]. on the drive to the house to pick up my stuff, i said to my friend "the absolute best case scenario would be that they just aren't home". we drive up to the house, and they pull out of the driveway literally as we pass. unbelievable good luck. we dismantle the bed; my stuff is already fully packed. load the car. guy with the truck shows up as we're pulling out the last of the screws. white truck, falling apart. smells exactly like the rusty orange truck my dad had when i was a kid, like sweat and hard work. the man has four braided rat tails, is wearing a crumbling grey wife beater and filthy jeans. his girlfriend looks like an amazon warrior, streaks of dirt across her cheeks and a thin leather skin cut raggedly along the bottom. the landlord comes up to see what is going on and i, with a composure that shocked me after, explained to him that i was leaving, lied and said a better opportunity had come up. left a note for the people and a cheque to make up for the waste of time. loaded everything into the truck, drove it to friend's, stored it, caught the bus back into town.
all of this happened within about four hours of time. i still have no idea how i managed to orchestrate everything so quickly, to be out within the day. desperation is a slave driver. i could not possibly have spent another night there.
i feel awestruck with thankfulness right now that i had someone willing to take me in and people who were able to help with the general moving process.