oh, valencia in a house with a white picket fence and hedges, filled with music and women, it�s not exactly what i pictured but it�s pretty damn close. i wanted a house like this filled with the girls i know and love and their music and well, maybe i don�t know these girls but i�m grateful for the music all the same. at night i fall asleep to the singer down the hall from me and the violinist in harmony with the oboeist upstairs. the heart will be mended with music if not warmed. i feel so cold here, as though nothing could warm me, as though i am caught in an endless calgary winter caused largely by a sadness i can�t contain. i knew i would feel lonely here but the capacity of that loneliness creeped on me like a cruel joke, a shock of frost in june. yet there is song, and in the courtyards there are hummingbirds, hovering jewels of hope in deep red flowers hung like bells. i will find a home here, with my heart and also with my feet. |