baby makes five
sometimes i feel really angry with myself for thinking it was a good idea to ask you to co-parent. a very "what the fuck was i thinking" feeling.
but i was thinking that i was in love with you. and that the joy i experienced with you was overwhelmingly beautiful. and i wanted to build a family with you even though the circumstances were unusual. i wanted to share that experience with you more than anything.
it was heartbreaking that you didn't see your own potential to be up to the task even though i did.
and i can't fault myself for wanting good things anymore.