baby makes five sometimes i feel really angry with myself for thinking it was a good idea to ask you to co-parent. a very "what the fuck was i thinking" feeling. but i was thinking that i was in love with you. and that the joy i experienced with you was overwhelmingly beautiful. and i wanted to build a family with you even though the circumstances were unusual. i wanted to share that experience with you more than anything. it was heartbreaking that you didn't see your own potential to be up to the task even though i did. and i can't fault myself for wanting good things anymore. |