i guess everything is timing,
so she envisions this kind of life where you move in together and have dinner parties and grow old and lovely and safe. where you do all the things people expect you to do when you've been with someone for a certain amount of time. she expects monogamy, marriage, family, the same way everyone else does. and you? you want to fight the ideas of monogamy, marriage, family. you want to beat them down, resist them, refuse to play into the roles of femininity for the sake of freeing yourself as a woman from the expectations of a society built on binaries of thought by which everyone is expected to define themselves.
maybe i don't want to be defined. maybe i want to drop acid when i'm home, maybe i want to quit school and move to australia for three months, maybe i want to hike thailand. maybe i want to cut my skin, maybe i want to pay someone else to cut designs into my skin, maybe i want to pierce multiple parts of my body, maybe i want to bind my breasts and live as a boy. maybe i want to date men and women and transmen and transwomen and genderqueers and people who don't try to be just one thing. maybe i want to sleep with multiple people, love multiple people, maybe i want to prioritize my friendships above all else. maybe i want to do things that hurt my body, but it's my fucking body.
i don't want to look back at my life when i'm eighty and regret not trying things when i had the chance.
maybe you want to live up to other people's expectations, but i don't. i only want to live up to my own, and my only expectation of myself is that i live life by my own rules and not someone else's.
and i can do fucking anything, ANYTHING, i put my mind to.