i feel like i am drowning in this.
a. e-mailed the other day, he wants to get together and discuss queerness. i responded and wish i hadn't.
i am just as much of a mess now as i was the last time we were in each other's company and just as likely to completely break down.
it feels like i am being forced to face the reality that i still miss him, that i still feel hurt by what happened, and that i have no idea how to resolve those feelings.
i feel like the poster child for unresolved feelings. all i ever want lately is to hide in a cabin by the ocean by myself, silently, so that i might actually have the time and focus to untangle all of my knots.