somehow i have allowed myself to be in an abusive relationship.
i should have seen this coming. i should have known, based on your past, that this is where we would end up. the manipulation, emotional/verbal abuse, should have been enough to make me think of this as a dysfunctional relationship.
it took you actually laying your hands on me for me to wake up and realize where this is going. the violence will only escalate until you get help.
the fucked up thing is that you grabbed me and shoved me across the room into a table and held me there and called me a pussy when i started to cry - and i'm worried about you. i am more worried about how this has damaged you than i am about what it will do to me. i am more worried about the gash in your arm, your desire to hurt yourself, the likelihood that you may relapse.
abuse does not cause love to shut down, to turn off. it does not cause it to leave you like a ghost. but it should.
oh, it really should.