i will not change for someone else. i changed for her and in the end it made me bitter; this is who i am, either get used to it or leave. i'm moody as fuck and the way you deal with my moods just makes them worse every single time. when i say i don't want to talk about it it's because i KNOW how fucking stupid it sounds, please DON'T make me talk about it. or at the VERY LEAST don't make me feel bad about talking about it when i didn't want to in the first place and you wouldn't fucking let it go.
if i thought it was important i would just tell you about it; if i thought there was any validity to the way i've been feeling, i'd bring it up. if i don't want to talk about it it's because i KNOW i'm being irrational and i know it's just going to put you in a bad mood and i don't want that to happen. why can't you just trust that i have a GOOD reason for not wanting to talk about it? it's not that i don't trust you, it's not that i'm uncomfortable talking to you about things, it's that the topic DID NOT NEED to be discussed.
why do i date? relationships make me feel so irritable and tied down. i hate feeling accountable to someone else or responsible for someone's emotional well-being. and i feel tied down by enough things right now, this doesn't need to add to it. i want the cute things that come with a relationship, like being affectionate and making cute things for each other, but i don't like feeling as if i am someone's property. i don't like knowing i can't do whatever the fuck i want because suddenly those actions affect someone else. i don't like how we talk 24/7 or phone calls every night or feeling like i have to keep coming up with things to say even when i am not in the mood to talk about anything because to be honest i'm a pretty quiet person, i keep to myself, i prefer to listen until i have something important to say. i don't believe in chatter or filling up the silence, i think it's unnecessary. you learn more when you listen. i don't understand why we can't just talk when we see each other; why we have to keep in contact every single day. it is frustrating that what appears to be ideal quickly unveils itself as something else.
don't place restrictions on my independence, you won't like the consequences.