i don't remember the last time i felt coherent or whole, the last time i knew how to set down an entire plot rather than just cinematic scenes. my life becomes a derivative of some bad indie film meant to look artistic but at the bones is really just vapid and pretentious. we made mock movies like that once with my shitty little camera of my friends pouring sugar into their laps from giant silver spoons in poorly lit rooms played at half speed with creepy music overlaying the whisper of falling sugar. how witty we thought we were.
i just want to break everything and make it into something new, i want to create worlds with my words and watch people fall in to them. i want passion like blood to coagulate and burst out, popping veins and self-doubt in one grand move.